What do women need from the justice system?

What makes it hard for women to tell someone about abuse they have experienced?

Women identified eleven main needs:

Access to help to stop the abuse

Women need access to timely and respectful processes and resources which will support them to break the cycle of abuse. They need to be able to trust that these processes and resources keep them and their children safe from further abuse. The women who participated in the focus groups were more likely to access help if:

she knew that she would be respected by the people and processes she looked to for help
it was affordable
is was in her community or transportation was available
accessing the service/process didn't require that she give up other supports, her job, etc.
it was in a language she spoke and understood well
it was simple to understand (plain language, few and uncomplicated steps to follow)
accessing the assistance didn't put her in further danger of being abused

Financial security

For the women who participated in the focus groups, financial security means:

being able to support their children without drastically changing the lifestyle that they are accustomed to
that the abuser takes his share of the responsibility for supporting the children
enough money to ensure that the children have suitable child care, if the mother has to work
a dwelling that is hers and the children's with no control exercised over it by her partner
to keep her share of the assets that she has worked to build
transportation

Prevention of violence

In the experience of the women who participated in the focus groups, a lot of frustration came from the emphasis that the system seems to place on reaction as opposed to prevention. By prevention, women mean:

service providers taking responsibility and intervening early/asking questions when they suspect abuse
quick responses to violent crisis
making sure that men get treatment to change behaviour
service providers taking action to help before a crime is committed

Their children's safety

When we asked women what their needs were one of the areas that was discussed most was the need to keep their children safe and support in doing that. When they used the word, "safe", the women meant many different things:

safe from all abuse by the abusive partner - not just the forms that are criminal offenses
safe from harming themselves, emotionally or physically
safe from growing up to have difficulties coping
safe from drastic changes in lifestyle
safe from confusion about what's happening between their parents

Safety for themselves

When talking about their own safety as a need, the women participating in the focus groups indicated that, in addition to requiring assistance in staying safe from criminal behaviour, they need:

protection from subtle harassment
a safe place to live
processes which do not give the abuser further opportunity to control, abuse her and intimidate her into giving up her rights
to be able to count on enforcement of decisions made
the victim's safety and preventing further abuse to be the main priorities in sentencing
safety from threats of violence against other family members

To maintain family relationships

Some women mentioned that one of the reasons they hesitated in telling someone about the abuse was their need to maintain family relationships. One woman was being abused by her brother-in-law and didn't want to hurt or lose the support of his wife, her sister.

Respect

Women told stories of the responses that they received from the justice system, from social services, from community organizations and from others in positions to help. The responses that helped were from compassionate people who understood the dynamics of abuse and who listened to them and believed them. The responses that did not help, not surprisingly, were from the service providers who did not listen, did not believe them and who told the woman "it's your fault" or "it's not as big a deal as you are making it out to be".

In terms of respect, women want:

to be listened to
to be believed
not to be judged or told it's her fault
some indication in the sentencing that the court takes her abuse seriously
compassion
to feel valued as a person/client
confidentiality

Support in making changes/breaking the cycle of abuse

The support that women identified that would most help them break the cycle of abuse is:

taking action before the violence occurs, when indicators are there and a woman asks for help
recognizing the difficulties of joint custody when there is violence and making safe orders
providing counselling/information to women
keep the abuser out of the victim's home
help her to protect her children
recognize and understand the cycle so you can better help her
provide support for the children to understand what's happening
ensure that the process is quick
ensure response times to crisis is quick
enforce decisions, don't leave it up to the woman
empower her to make her own choices
don't ask women to make the decision to charge her spouse
provide 24 hour services (crisis may not occur between 8 and 4 on a weekday)
someone to take care of you if the abuser was your caregiver
don't overwhelm the woman by complicated processes or by making her repeat her story over and over
believe her
be open to talking about abuse and let clients know that
be compassionate

The women also identified support from family and having someone you trust to tell about the abuse is extremely important.

Information/education

Information and education was a need identified by women, not just for themselves, but for others, as well. For the women themselves, they need information about:

what constitutes an abusive/healthy relationship
where to go for help
how to protect themselves financially (from the start) in a relationship
ideas for preventing stranger abuse
parenting education for families in crisis
that its not her fault
clear information about options
what options are available if orders made, etc. don't work

For the abuser:

understanding about the impact of his behaviour on his victims

Police, judges, social workers, lawyers need education about:

how to properly use the present legislation
the cycle and dynamics of abuse
how to work with an abuser
how to be compassionate, less judgmental
how to support a woman who has been abused

Family and general public need education about:

the cycle and dynamics of abuse

The abuser to be held accountable

Participants in the focus groups felt that sentences need to send the message that violence against women is a serious crime.

the ability to have some control over the process

The focus group participants indicated that they need to be have ways to hold service providers accountable if they are not treated with respect or if they are given inaccurate information.

How could the justice system better meet the needs of women?

Comments from the focus groups

On access to help

I used all my savings to pay for the lawyers and I'm at the point where I have to declare bankruptcy and nothing is settled yet. I need to be able to keep him out of my house - the police says that's ok if he comes in because he's my husband. Anderson House told me that I was at risk of losing my kids and my house because I couldn't take my oldest kids with me so I had to go back to him until all the legal pieces fell into place (which took more than a month of further abuse) - the legal process needs to be changed to keep women safe, not send them back. There needs to be a humanisation of the justice system - we're not all lawyers, we're not all emotion-free, business-like people. There needs to be an understanding between family and criminal law - they impact so much on each other but are treated as if they are separate by the courts. There needs to be tighter legal enforcement of trespassing, peace bonds, restraining orders, etc. - we need real action not a piece of paper.

On financial security

My Emergency Protection Order says I'm in control of house but they wouldn't do anything when he cut off the utilities, which were in his name. Social services helped financially, made me sign a paper I would pay it back when I got a settlement. I used RRSP to pay lawyer's retainer fee, now I'm being charged with fraud because I didn't report it; I have to use what little assets I have and its ruining my life. The legal aid system is terrible - when you're in an abusive situation and you're working there's no legal aid and there's nothing anybody can do - and he's allowed to do what he wants. Some women don't have a car and its hard to leave if you need a drive somewhere and there's no one you can ask.

On prevention

Doctors don't usually say anything if there are just bruises - only if there are blood and broken bones. When I called the police they asked `is he hitting you?' - I said no but I'm afraid he will hurt us and they said `well, we can't come unless he hurts you - call us when he does that'. My child's teacher said [to me after we left the home] - `I noticed a difference in your child' - I would have appreciated a call - for her to take some responsibility/initiative. Even my social worker knows he's crazy but won't do anything to protect my kids.

On children's safety

Children need to be heard - my kids wrote letters to the judge and the family court counselor got rid of them. During the Home Study the counselor spent about 10 minutes with the kids and 15 minutes at our home. Its confusing for mothers how to educate kids about what father is doing (harassment, financial abuse) without putting him down and without putting kids in the middle. Without the help of the Family Resource Team (Child and Family), I wouldn't have had the strength to get through. I asked the guidance counsellors to keep an eye on my kids and they were awesome, they built a bond with the kids. There isn't enough protection with regard to custody protection of children when women leave the home - social services says its up to the mother to protect the children but give no support to do that - my social worker said to me when I asked her to take the kids from him "I can take the children from YOU because you haven't protected them by letting him have [legal] access to them. [The court says that] I have to send my child with a man that abuses him, makes threats against my life in front of him. If you're un-cooperative [by not allowing access] then you look bad in front of the judge. There needs to be "child protection" especially where there's emotional abuse - he knows he can get away with that.

On safety for themselves

The system doesn't offer protection from the subtle harassment - police can only do something when its too late. Mediation was difficult and the mediator should have stopped him lots of times but in the long run it was a blessing to me - I had gotten enough counseling that I was able to focus on the safety of the kids - he thought he was controlling the process and I let him think that to get what was important for me. "It's easy to give up rights in mediation [because] no-one is there to protect you. 911 put me on hold when I called to say that I was being assaulted. If I had to do it again, I wouldn't. I was told promises by Crown he would get federal time and I believed it at the time, but they're not in control of what happens - with a 20 year history of abuse he was sentenced to 17 months, and spent only 3 months in jail after sentence. Probation needs to be followed through with stay away orders, anger management - [the probation officer] said she was too busy to follow through with anger management.

On respect

If the community thinks he's great no one believes you and you lose support. The police treated me like I didn't know what I was talking about - like I didn't exist. We were standing in my kitchen and one officer said to the other `Do you think this warrants an EPO?' I responded and said `yes' and he said `I wasn't talking to you'. The police officer was trying to make me understand how a man feels - I said do you know how I feel? Its hard to tell anyone; by the time a woman makes the big decision and it goes to court it's all over the papers; [as well as] announced over the [police] scanner. I probably wouldn't have stayed so long in my abusive relationship if I had encountered a better response. The abuser should be treated as if he was a stranger on the street when it comes to sentencing - it is minimized by the courts - why does it matter how long you were together or if you invited him to come have tea - they need to get rid of that attitude of `if you let him come and have tea its your fault, make a decision - do you want him in your life or not - if you keep getting back with him we can't do anything for you' The officer said to me that "it sounds like this is turning into a pissing match between you and your husband" and told me to go to a lawyer.

On support

How will you have the energy to call person after person until you find someone who believes you and can/will help you? I came from another country and was very isolated - everybody is related to my ex and I didn't dare say anything The RCMP was wonderful - [the officer] said it was a little beyond what she was supposed to do but she talked to him anyway and warned him not to harass me The police did want to help me but were limited in what they could do. The Outreach workers, Victims services and Anderson House were all great. My doctor's office has a sign that says you can talk to him/her about abuse.

On information/education

My father was verbally abusive so I didn't know that I was in an abusive relationship because I didn't know what abuse was I thought that my abuse wasn't that bad because it wasn't physical. Mental illness is not an excuse for abuse - I thought I was doing my wifely duty in staying by him. They need to have parenting education specifically for families in crisis. The CLIA parenting education was more geared to two healthy individuals. I was abused for 23 years but didn't know about alternatives until 8 years ago - then a whole new world opened up. I didn't know there was help out there. The police, lawyers, judges interpret the law differently if its your husband and not a stranger that's harassing you or coming into your home or abusing you. We need the system to understand how to work with an abuser. He can be on his best behaviour for that one appointment or court date.